Many consider conscience to be the highest and final authority to which we must conform in every situation in life. This has to do with the fact that our survival is related to obedience to conscience.

  1. Every family has its own conscience. With the help of our conscience we directly perceive what we have to do or not do in order to be allowed to belong to this family. If we follow the instructions of this conscience, we have a good conscience. This means: We feel certain that we may belong.
  2. If we go against the instructions of our conscience, we have a bad conscience. We feel guilty. What is the exact feeling when we have a bad conscience and feel guilty? We are afraid that we might endanger or have lost the right to belong to our family.
  3. Bad conscience is what drives us, to change our behavior in such a way that we regain good conscience, meaning that we are sure again of our right to belong to our group.

The main error with good and bad consciences is that we think our conscience has general validity, that is, not only for us, but for all people. That is why many people regard their conscience as the voice of God in their soul.

When we consider that people who come from a different family have the same idea, even though the instructions of their conscience differ greatly from the instructions of our conscience, we understand the difficulties that arise when two people refer to their conscience. They want to force the other to follow their conscience instead of the other's.

Conscience in the family

Someone is excluded from their family if they contradict the standards of their conscience. For example, if they join a group that has a different conscience. The exclusion is justified with the good conscience of the family and demanded by it. This sometimes goes so far that this member is killed. Or a woman hides a child and gives it away because it is considered a disgrace in her family to have a child out of wedlock. Or she aborts this child out of fear of her own exclusion.

Here we see how life threatening a good conscience can be. Conversely, when a woman gives away a child under these circumstances, or when she aborts a child, she wants to free herself from her feelings of guilt in the sense of balancing giving and taking by atoning for it. In other words, she does something to herself. She might get sick and want to die.

But not everyone has to atone for it themselves. It is enough for another person to atone on their behalf. This too is a movement of conscience. The atonement does not have to be personal.

Who wishes for this atonement? The "God of Conscience." All sacrifices offered to him, especially all child sacrifices, serve to reconcile him. That is, they serve to compensate for an exclusion. Those who are willing to accept atonement bring blessings to those for whom they sacrifice themselves.

This is a displacement of compensation in the sense of: first the sacrifice, then the blessing. This movement of conscience works behind the attempts of children to save their parents by wanting to become ill or die in their place. At the same time this movement of conscience is the basic movement behind every tragedy. However, here it is connected with a violation of the hierarchy, in which a subordinate takes the place of a superior without being aware of this violation of the hierarchy.

For what reason? Conscience assures them that they thereby earn a greater right to belong to their family.

Conscience in the couple relationship

The disorder that conscience can cause in a couple can be seen in the fact that each partner tries to convert the other to their conscience. They measure the behavior of the other according to their conscience and judge it as good or bad. This applies to both partners. It reduces mutual respect and love and leads to endless arguments in many relationships. Especially when it comes to how the children should be raised.

The "Yes" in the couple relationship

How can we free ourselves from the disorder of conscience in our couple relationship? By recognizing the partner and their family and their conscience as equal to ours. So we tell them: "I love you as you are, exactly as you are. I love your mother as she is, exactly as she is. I love your father as he is, exactly as he is. I love your family as it is, as equal to mine." With this we have taken a step beyond the confinement of our conscience, a step of love.

We achieve the same with our children. Here we can check, above all, whether we have succeeded in this step. For example, if we tell a child inwardly and even openly: "In you I love your father as he is, and I'll be happy if you one day become like your father." Or: "In you I love your mother as she is, and I'll be happy if you one day become like your mother." What happens to the child then? It will be happy. Because it loves both parents the way they are. These sentences have another effect. The child becomes free for its own path.

Conscience and Love

Whoever follows their conscience rejects others. In order to be allowed to belong to one's family, they must consider others, who are different because they have a different conscience, to be less good, and consider themselves better than them. Thus, conscience is opposed to respect and love for others who are different. All distinctions between good and evil and between the chosen or rejected, or between heaven and hell, come from conscience. 

This has to do with the fact that we create our God largely according to the standards of our conscience. That He therefore loves only those whom our conscience loves, and excludes from His love those whom our conscience excludes from our love. Of course, also the others who have a different conscience have a God who follows their conscience. They too exclude others by invoking their conscience and their God. For example us. In this way, the good conscience of some and the good conscience of others becomes a dividing line that separates people and peoples and religions. Their good conscience sets them against each other. It justifies the worst cruelties against others, for example in religious wars.