All who belong to our family have the same right to belong. As soon as a member of the family is denied or refused this belonging, disorder arises with far-reaching consequences.


  1. The most obvious example is when a member of the family is killed. The most common way of doing this is abortion. Whatever the justifications given for it, in the soul of the perpetrator, here especially in the soul of the mother, it has far-reaching consequences. It also has far-reaching consequences in the souls of other family members.
  2. Another form of exclusion is when a child is given away and put up for adoption. Or when a child from another relationship is kept secret and thus excluded. This also applies to hidden aborted children.
  3. When a family member is excluded because there is shame. For example, a severely handicapped child, or a member who adopts a different faith or is guilty of something.
  4. In Original Hellinger® Family Constellation, it becomes apparent that forgotten children who are not mentioned also belong. For example a stillborn child. But also a child that died prematurely, i.e. a miscarriage and a child that already died in the womb.

Who belongs to the family whose members have the right to belong? In Original Hellinger® Family Constellation is revealed which persons belong to our family and therefore must be acknowledged as members. In addition to the biological relatives, there are often other people for the solution of a problem.

What are the consequences if a family member is denied the right to belong in this way?

The consequences of exclusion

Where there has been the exclusion of a family member, a movement is created in the family to bring back the excluded or forgotten member and give them back the place they deserve. Until then, the member is represented by another member. The excluded person takes possession of this member without being aware of it. They make themselves noticeable in the family through this member. This member then also feels excluded. They take over the feelings and the symptoms of the excluded member and finally their fate. In Family Constellation we call this an entanglement.

In an Original Hellinger® Family Constellation this entanglement comes to light. It can be lifted by "bringing back" the excluded family member. It is noticeable that the entanglement usually involves a family member who was in no way responsible for the exclusion. Often they come from the next generation or the generation after that. They are chosen by another force for it, beyond our ideas of guilt and innocence. In this sense the entanglement seems impersonal. It has the whole in view. It wants the restoration of order, that what has been separated is reunited with the others.

Many problems in the family - family here in the broadest sense described above - arise from the violation of this order. So it turns out that the same right of belonging is given and enforced by a higher power.